There She Is!

Oh my goodness, where have I been?!

I wish I could tell you I’ve been productive. You know, looking for jobs and what not, but really, I’ve just been sulking. …or something like that I guess.

I really have just tried to take my time and reboot: figure out where I want to go and what I need to do to get to that point. So, in my month hiatus, I’m happy to inform you on my progress.

I. Am. Nowhere.

Man, literally nowhere.  So far, a couple of my colleagues have accepted offers and already put in their two weeks.  Me? I just try to moonwalk my way out of every conversation involving the future. I don’t like talking about it.  I thought it was because I was worried about what on earth I’m going to do. But if I can just be honest, it’s because I’m pretty embarrassed that I don’t have a plan.  I’ve never been a planner.  It’s a running joke between my sister and I.  Things have always been decided or done for me, have fallen into my lap, or I’ve been able to charm my way into whatever I wanted in that moment without actually having to work for it.

Since the announcement of the consolidation over a month ago, I think I’ve applied to maybe 3 jobs. Yep, three.

So, since I would like to think my charm hasn’t completely run out, I must be at the state in my life where I have to start growing up and working. Like, actually working. And THAT is terrifying. How do y’all do it?

I’ve known that I’ve been in a state of arrested development for quite some time. And while I’m excited about change and being forced to grow up since time won’t stop, the excitement doesn’t negate the fact that I’m scared shitless.

Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I didn’t have to do all of these new things alone. Maybe I should hold a search for a sidekick.  …or a puppy!

Sing it for me, Alex.

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2 thoughts on “There She Is!

  1. You know, it’s amazing to me how similar our lives are as young adults no matter how far away from one another we are. I’ve been doing the unemployed thing for awhile now, and I am scared shitless all of the time though I also know that I have more potential to do anything I want in the world now than I ever could have at my old job.
    I don’t know how I do it, some days, but I do know what has gotten me through has been being social. Without the people around me who care about me and my happiness and who believe in me when I don’t have the energy to believe in myself, I don’t think I’d have the energy it takes to believe that I’ll land in the right place or that it will all be better one day.

    I don’t have much of a plan, either, except to apply for /all/ of the jobs and to hope that the right one and I find one another before time (unemployment) runs out. I’ve had a few brushes with job offers, but nothing close enough to just right for me yet.

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