Oh my goodness, where have I been?!
I wish I could tell you I’ve been productive. You know, looking for jobs and what not, but really, I’ve just been sulking. …or something like that I guess.
I really have just tried to take my time and reboot: figure out where I want to go and what I need to do to get to that point. So, in my month hiatus, I’m happy to inform you on my progress.
I. Am. Nowhere.
Man, literally nowhere. So far, a couple of my colleagues have accepted offers and already put in their two weeks. Me? I just try to moonwalk my way out of every conversation involving the future. I don’t like talking about it. I thought it was because I was worried about what on earth I’m going to do. But if I can just be honest, it’s because I’m pretty embarrassed that I don’t have a plan. I’ve never been a planner. It’s a running joke between my sister and I. Things have always been decided or done for me, have fallen into my lap, or I’ve been able to charm my way into whatever I wanted in that moment without actually having to work for it.
Since the announcement of the consolidation over a month ago, I think I’ve applied to maybe 3 jobs. Yep, three.
So, since I would like to think my charm hasn’t completely run out, I must be at the state in my life where I have to start growing up and working. Like, actually working. And THAT is terrifying. How do y’all do it?
I’ve known that I’ve been in a state of arrested development for quite some time. And while I’m excited about change and being forced to grow up since time won’t stop, the excitement doesn’t negate the fact that I’m scared shitless.
Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I didn’t have to do all of these new things alone. Maybe I should hold a search for a sidekick. …or a puppy!